Redemption
by electricmind
Summary: 'Redemption: the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil' Where can Oliver find it?
1. Chapter 1: Mercy

**A/N.: Arrow is my new obsession and so is Olicity (pff, if you don't ship it, you're just wrong). This was meant to be an Olicity story, but, as I started writing it, it became a huge angst feast. Turns out Oliver Queen and angst are attached at the hip. This is gonna be a two-shot, three-shot, maybe, and I still have plans to include Olicity feels (can't live without them). It's my third fic and my first multi-chapter, so I'm shaking here.**

**Sorry that this is kind of depressing and it has no action and it's kind of a long string of thoughts (wow, I'm just realizing how much boring it all sounds and I'm so sorry). In my defence, Oliver probably spends a lot of time brooding, so consider this his thoughts when he's staring at empty space, lol.**

**Disclaimer: The fact that I don't own Olicity makes me cry at night.**

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_Mercy: compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm._

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Oliver had never given much thought about 'mercy' before the island. He came to terms with the fact that he had been a shallow asshole before the shipwreck and that he had only known about small mercies during his old life. The mercy of waking up hangover free on a clear sunny day after a night of partying with Tommy, for example; or the mercy of escaping his parents' wrath when they were too busy to tell him what a screw-up he was; or the mercy of being in Laurel's good graces again after breaking up for the fourth, maybe fifth, time; he only knew about those kinds of mercies.

During his time at Lian Yu, whichever flimsy concepts of mercy that he knew had crumbled to dust. At first, he had hoped God would be merciful towards him and would send someone, anyone, to get him out of there. Oliver had never given much thought about God before either, though he found that he couldn't help but believe in God when his life was hanging by a thread. So he held onto that belief for as long as he could, which was not that long.

He had soon learned that the people on that island would only hold him at their mercy and that they didn't know anything about compassion. In that place, there was no space for mercy. Yao Fei had shown him mercy and died to give him a chance to live. Showing any form of it would only get you killed. Oliver soon concluded that he didn't believe in God, much less a merciful one. He couldn't afford to believe in God and, even if there was one, he doubted he'd find redemption anywhere in Lian Yu. He could only trust himself, his skills, and that meant showing no signs of mercy. Kill or be killed, those were the rules.

After leaving the island, he ended up realizing that the real world was a different kind of jungle, but a jungle nonetheless, and his rules remained. The only difference was that now Oliver could afford to show his enemies a small amount of mercy, the kind that was never shown to him. Yes, he did vowed to fulfill his father's dying wishes by riding the city of its hidden criminals, the most dangerous ones, the ones who hid in plain sight; but he also vowed to give them one chance to change before he killed them, and Oliver called that mercy. One chance, that's all his enemies had. It was more than what was given to him and it was enough to appease Diggle's and Felicity's minds.

He knew Diggle understood why those were the rules. Despite being one of the most honorable men Oliver had ever known, John Diggle was still a soldier and he knew war. Although Dig understood, he didn't agree with the ever rising death count, and Oliver couldn't blame him; the man had seen enough of killing for a lifetime.

Felicity also understood, but she had never been through war. She had never felt the burden of taking a life to save her own, had never felt the desperation of it on her skin, and Oliver hoped she never would; he would make sure she never experienced that feeling. Yes, Felicity was more than smart enough to understand the concept, but she didn't know the feeling, and she didn't agree with merciless killing. In fact, she made sure Oliver knew how much she disagreed with it, though she never made him feel like a monster for doing it; she did understand why those were the rules, after all.

The fact that they backed him up in spite of what he had done, of what he did on a daily basis, was enough to help Oliver rationalize that he knew what mercy was, so he never thought that his concept of it would change.

Then, Tommy had died. His best friend, one of the few people he truly loved, had died. He was sorry that it took another tragedy to make him see things clearer, to help him see that he was doing this all wrong and that this was not the person he wanted to be. He was determined to do things differently and diminishing the body count was a step in the direction he wanted to go. He owed it to Tommy's memory to make things right.

Now, Oliver had new rules. No more killing, unless there was no other choice. He could tell that Diggle and Felicity had been proud of his decision and their approval showed him that it was, indeed, the right one. He had finally learned how to be merciful. It took him time, but he realized the importance of it. He knew now that he would never be at peace with himself and with his mission if he didn't leave the island behind.

Oliver would never forget what Lian Yu taught him; it had changed him completely and that couldn't be undone, but he couldn't be the killing machine he once was either. Tommy's death was the deepest thing he felt since returning from the island. He hadn't only lost people he cared about on the island; he had also lost a part of his soul. He taught himself to shut down everything but his skills and spending so much time numb made him think he was already immune to the kind of pain the loss of a loved one brought, but he was wrong.

Coming back had reminded him that there were still people he loved and wanted to protect, and that these people loved him. He kept his distance, because he didn't think he deserved their love anymore. He knew they wouldn't feel the same if they ever found out about the Arrow. Tommy's reaction to knowing the truth only proved him right. His best friend thought he was a murderer and that more than anything made him realize how much he craved mercy for himself.

On his dying moments, Tommy had apologized. Tommy had forgiven him, even though Oliver had never earned it. Then and there, he vowed to spend the rest of his life trying to earn it, trying to find mercy for himself.

Oliver needed to find redemption.

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**A/N.: Review and, please, don't be mean! The definition of the words 'redemption' and 'mercy' were taken from oxforddictionaries dot com. Oh, and I'm sorry for any grammar errors, english is not my first language.**


	2. Chapter 2: Guilt

**A/N.: Hi! I'm so happy about the reviews and favorites and follows! Thank you so much, guys! Sometimes I stop and think "I wrote something and people read it and some of them liked it and others liked it enough to tell me that they liked it, how cool is that?". Sorry, I'm just so excited! I'm excited like I know what I'm doing, which I don't, lol. **

**Anyway, this chapter was supposed to have Olicity feels, but it doesn't, though Felicity is in it (YES!). It has Sara feels, 'cause Sara Lance is amazing (don't argue with me, son!). Btw, I'd started writing this before last night's episode, so I****_ totally_**** called the whole apology scene, lol, though not the****_ I had I crush on you _****_first_**** part, I didn't call that at all. **

**So, I'm trying to follow the second season timeline a little, though not every episode will be featured. This takes place between episodes 4 and 5 of the second season, which means it's before she told them about the League of Assassins and told her dad she was alive.**

**Oh, keep in mind that when I say that Oliver and Sara "smiled", it's not the cherise cat smile, okay? It's the Oliver and Sara trademark smile. You guys watch the show, so you know what I mean, right? I just didn't want to write "he/she curved his/her lips upward a little tiny bit in an almost smile" over and over again, lol.**

**Sorry again for any mistakes and I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and it makes me sad.**

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_Guilt:__ a feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation._

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Sara was alive. Oliver could hardly believe it, but it was true. When he saw her again, it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, one of the many he had to carry. The guilt he carried because of her death, or of what he thought had been her death, also left him and it happened so unexpectedly that, for a moment, he felt breathless with relief.

It was a good feeling, until he looked her in the eyes closely. He knew what hid behind them; he saw it reflected back to him whenever he looked in the mirror. Then, the guilt came back to hit him like a freight train. She was like him now, a twisted image of the person she had once been. Oliver was deeply ashamed to admit to himself that he thought, even if only for a fleeting second, that death would've been a kinder ending; to both of them.

They were at the foundry now, training together in the matted floor. Felicity was sitting in her chair, doing some system analysis that Oliver couldn't even begin to understand, but he could see that she glanced in their direction once in a while. Diggle was also nearby, doing inventory of their supplies and, sometimes, pausing long enough to tell him and Sara which moves they were doing wrong.

Sara had suggested that they trained together, inspired by some joke Felicity had made earlier about who would win in a superhero fight between The Black Canary and The Arrow. In reality, Oliver noticed that Sara wanted to avoid the hard questions for now. He knew from personal experience how that felt like; he was letting it slide. So, they trained.

She was astonishing with her staff; the weapon suited her. Being quick and lithe, but also surprisingly strong, Sara wielded the staff with extraordinary ease. Oliver was loath to admit that it was taking a lot of concentration on his part to fight her; one wrong move and he'd find himself on the ground every time. She was also incredible with a bow, but not better than him. He'd never say it out loud, but he knew he had better accuracy than her with a bow and arrow.

They had been going at it for almost three hours when she decided to stop.

"Okay, I'll give you a break now, Ollie." Sara said while she walked to Felicity's desk, where they had left a couple of water bottles.

"Come on, you're just doing that because I'm starting to win." he said, catching the bottle she threw and taking big gulps from it.

"No, I'm doing it to spare your fragile male ego. You've been through a lot, Ollie, not sure you could handle being squashed like a bug by someone half your weight." she said with a small smile.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Felicity mouthing 'ouch' to Diggle, who turned his back to them in an attempt to hide his smile; but Oliver decided to ignore it.

"You know, back in the day, you used to inflate my ego, not deflate it. That girl was lot nicer" he tried to joke, but quickly realized his mistake when her smile vanished and her shoulders slumped. "Sara, I didn't-"

"I know you didn't, Ollie." she said, staring at her water bottle.

Oliver was going to apologize when Diggle approached them.

"You can't really tell, but that was Oliver trying to make a joke." Diggle said in and amused tone to Sara, who looked up, the corners of her mouth quirking up.

"That's right." Felicity quipped in "The first time he tried it was the weirdest thing, I mean, we were so shocked that we didn't even laugh." She glanced quickly at Oliver and, seeing his raised eyebrows, rambled on "_Not_ that it wasn't funny, it was funny. Well, not that funny, but funny in a way that you wouldn't expect from Oliver, because he doesn't seem to have a sense of humor and…" Felicity trailed off and took a deep breath, blushing hard at the other's amused expressions "I'll just… stop talking." she finished and turned her attention back to the computer screens.

Diggle turned to Sara. "You'll get used to it if you stick around."

Oliver wasn't sure if the man was talking about his lack of sense of humor or Felicity's cute rambles.

"Do you plan to?" Dig asked curiously.

_And there it is_. Oliver thought. He knew Dig wanted him to talk to Sara, he thought that she needed it and that it would be good for her. Oliver also wanted to know the answer to that question, but he didn't want to make Sara feel backed into a corner, so he had been waiting for her to share her plans when she felt ready.

He glared at Diggle, silently telling him to back off and was answered with a you-know-I'm-right kind of stare from the man. Dig was never one to beat around the bush.

"That is yet to be determined." Sara answered curtly, putting an end to the men's silent conversation.

"Well, we must feed you while you're still here, so I'll go get some food for us. How does everyone feel about Italian?" Dig asked, effectively breaking the ice, and was answered with nods and mumbles of approval. "All right. Then, let's go, Felicity."

"Oh, no, you go ahead. I have to keep an eye on this, if there are any bugs in my system, I wanna be ready to crush those little bast-" She stopped abruptly when she noticed Diggle staring at her. He threw a quick glance at Oliver and Sara, who were still carrying on a conversation, then looked back at Felicity and indicated the door with a small shake of his head. She caught on his meaning and spoke louder while she gathered her purse and tablet. "On second thought, my hunger is bigger than my vengeful feelings towards bugs right now. So, yes, let's go."

Oliver watched as Felicity and Diggle left, not missing the look Dig gave him that clearly said _talk to her_. Meanwhile, Sara had walked towards a wall and sat down on the floor, pulling her knees up and pressing her back against the harsh concrete.

"Okay, let's get this over with." Sara said, sighing heavily.

Oliver followed her and took a seat beside her, pulling one knee up and resting his arm on it. He didn't have to ask what she was talking about: she was ready for the hard questions now. Faced with the opportunity, Oliver didn't know what to ask. He decided to begin with the first question the one Diggle wanted to know. "Are you staying? Are you planning to tell your family that you're alive?"

"I can't stay, Ollie. My family can't know I'm alive, I've told you that. It's too dangerous." She said patiently, Oliver waited in silence for her to continue "You know, I didn't plan to stay this long. I was just supposed to make sure they were safe after the earthquake, but… Seeing my family… my dad, Laurel… It was like a drug, I kept coming back for more. Part of me hoped they would just see me or…" she shook her head "I don't know what I expected, I just couldn't stay away." she cleared her throat "So, to answer your question, no. I'm not planning on staying."

"Why is it so dangerous for them? Where have you been all this time, Sara? And don't say 'everywhere'" Oliver pressed.

"I've been busy. I had a debt to pay and I've just finished paying it." she answered intensely.

"What kind of debt?" He asked worriedly.

"One that had to be paid in blood." She said lowly, staring at her hands "I can't tell you everything right now, Ollie, I'm not… Just, not right now, okay?"

Oliver covered her hands with his, making her finally look at him.

"Whatever it is, Sara, you can tell me. You know I wouldn't judge you, I couldn't." he assured her, squeezing her hands.

"Oh, but you would. I've done things that are far worse than you've ever dreamed." She said, getting up and turning her back to him. Oliver could hear in her voice how close to tears she was. He got up and stood behind her, not sure if he should try to comfort her.

"You're afraid to become a murderer, Ollie… _Me_? I'm already _there_. I'm way past that. And the consequences of what I've done can catch up to me at any moment." Sara turned to look at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears, but her voice was firm "When that happens, I can't let my family be caught in the cross-fire. I'll _never_ let that happen. And don't say you can help me, Ollie, because you really can't."

They were both silent for a few moments, and Sara turned her back to him again. Oliver couldn't begin to imagine what she'd been through; he just knew she carried a lot of guilt. More guilt than any human being should have to carry alone. That thought only made his own guilt flare up, because, in the end, the fault was his entirely. If he hadn't been so stupid, if he hadn't brought her to the Queen's Gambit, none of the horrible things that happened to her would've happened.

"I'm sorry, Sara. I'm so sorry." He said sincerely. "It's all my-"

"Don't you dare, Oliver Queen. Don't you dare say that it's all your fault." She said fiercely, turning to face him again "I went into that trip with you willingly. I was more than willing, you and I both know that. I made that choice; I've told you that before." she reminded him "And what happened after I left the island, what I became… it was my choice too. I could've chosen death; I should have."

Sara laughed bitterly, her tears finally running free, her face hardening as she wiped them angrily "But I didn't… and now this is who I am. Most of the times, it makes me sick, but it also made me stronger. And I can't escape it, I can't run away from what I've done, but I'm not gonna let you take this burden from me either. You have enough of your own grief without taking up mine. It's _my_ burden, it's my guilt."

Sara wiped her tears harshly, falling silent. Oliver was at a loss for words, his throat closing and his eyes stinging. He felt so much guilt that it was like the feeling had imbibed itself in his skin. He didn't know what to do when one of the people who should blame him the most told him so blatantly that her suffering was not his fault. He swallowed hard once, twice and cleared his throat before he finally managed to talk.

"I didn't mean to… I'm…" he sighed, not knowing what to say and not wanting to apologize again; he knew she wouldn't accept it. "I tend to get caught up in my own suffering a lot." He said by way of apology.

"It's okay, Ollie. We all have that tendency, it's in the human DNA." she said lowly. "But you have to know that you're not responsible for everything bad that's ever happened since the shipwreck. I know you can't help but feel that way, I've been there… but you have to let it go eventually." Sara said softly. "You have to let a little bit of it go every day and one day… it'll get easier. You'll have to forgive yourself."

"Did you? Did you forgive yourself?" he asked; he could hear the hopeful tone in his voice, but he couldn't hide it. If Sara had done it, so could he.

"I'm trying." she shrugged. "First step: release the guilt that doesn't belong to you."

They sat down on the floor again and stayed in comfortable silence; both lost in their own thoughts. After what seemed like hours, but were only minutes, Oliver spoke:

"Sara, you know that burden? Just because it's yours, doesn't mean you can't share it with me."

She looked at him thoughtfully "Maybe I'll take you up on that someday."

"And I'll be waiting." he assured her.

While that didn't happen, Oliver planned to work on that first step.

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**A/N.: Reviews? Thoughts? Your kind words make my day! Btw, all the word definitions came/will come from oxforddictionaries' website, so there's that.**


	3. Chapter 3: Deserving

**A/N.: So, this took me some time. I started (and never finished) writing three different chapters before I decided where this one was going. I'm sorry if it's boring but there's Olicity cuteness and feels in it and that makes me happy! Also, I know it's starting to look like a bunch of drabbles, but there will be a plot to it all. I know I said that it would be a two, maybe three shot, but that is so not gonna happen, lol. That was before I knew where I wanted to go with this and now that I kind of know, it'll be longer. **

**Friendly reminder that english is not my first language and I have no beta. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow. I do own a dog.**

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_Deserve: do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment)._

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It was the first business meeting they'd had since he had sex with Isabel, but, in truth, that wasn't what troubled Oliver on that particular morning. The fact that it was also the first time Felicity and Isabel were in the same room together since Russia was what troubled him. He didn't know what to expect.

Truth was, he didn't know why he had slept with Isabel. Since he didn't know why he did it, Oliver blamed it on the alcohol. Oddly enough, that was exactly what pre-island Oliver Queen would've done; old habits and all that, he guessed.

They had been drunk, Isabel was there and, for an instant, he had seen a part of her that she kept hidden and she had gotten a glimpse beyond his mask. In that moment, it had felt good to be seen for more than a millionaire playboy without having to spell it out. Besides he had needed a release, a distraction from the many things he couldn't control. In his inebriated state, all that seemed like a good enough reason to have sex with her.

In his defense, he had regretted it. The minute he saw Felicity's reaction to the incident, he had regretted it. He felt like he needed to apologize, which was entirely irrational, but he did. He hadn't, though.

Ever since Oliver made Felicity his Executive Assistant, she had been working tirelessly to help him bring Queen Consolidated back to its feet. Seeing him with Isabel, the one responsible for making their lives harder on a daily basis, was probably like a slap in the face to her.

Oliver also entertained the idea that she had been jealous, but quickly dismissed that thought. Allowing himself to think that was dangerous, he couldn't let himself go down that road.

The fact that Felicity was attracted to him was not lost on Oliver. He didn't want to encourage her feelings to grow, but… he couldn't seem to stop touching her. After the first touch, he couldn't help it anymore.

He meant it as a comfort to her, but, in reality, he realized that it comforted him. Touching her reassured him that she was safe and well; it meant he hadn't failed to protect her yet. A hand on the small of her back, on her shoulder, stroking the length of her arm to grip her elbow; he touched her unconsciously. He only realized he was actually doing it when he let go, because the warmth of her skin was gone and the feeling of loss was intense.

Small touches: that's what he allowed himself. Anything beyond that was out of question. For the sake of her safety, and of his sanity, Oliver couldn't let himself think about having any other kind of relationship with Felicity than the one he had now. Even if he did, he didn't believe that her attraction towards him hinted at deeper feelings; she could do a lot better than him after all. Felicity was intelligent, kind, beautiful, funny, compassionate and a million of other things he didn't deserve to have.

When she had asked him why he had slept if Isabel, he had chosen to be honest. It wasn't a smart decision, but, at the time, he couldn't have told her differently if he tried. Oliver was well aware of the implication that telling her he couldn't be with someone he really cared about brought, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter, because she had to know. He needed her to know that he felt it; the tension, the energy between them, whatever it was; he felt it. He also needed her to know that pursuing it was a terrible idea and not something she should want; neither of them should want it.

Felicity deserved better than him. That knowledge made the fact that she had said _he_ deserved better than Isabel even more surprising. Oliver was in awe of Felicity, had been since the first time he met her, but she still managed to surprise him. He wasn't even sure he deserved what he already had in life, let alone better. Felicity's belief in him, her loyalty to him, her friendship; he tried to be worthy of it all every day and still felt like he failed sometimes.

This was one of those times that he felt like a failure; utterly powerless. Isabel, as usual, had been making derisive comments to undermine Felicity's work during the whole meeting and there was nothing Oliver could do about it. Every time he opened his mouth to answer her in the same fashion, Felicity shot him a glare that said _don't you dare. _He respected her silent request only because he knew she was right; it would be worse on her if he were to defend her in front of the heads of departments.

Oliver knew that by making Felicity his Executive Assistant from out of the blue he would be fueling the office gossip about them and making her life harder, but it had been a necessary evil. He was trying to follow Sara's advice and let go of any unnecessary guilt, so he tried not to regret it so much. He was proud of how well Felicity handled it all, though, especially Isabel. The woman was always trying to get a rise out of Felicity, but she never managed to do it.

Felicity had been dealing with Isabel gracefully all morning, considering how infuriated he knew she had been. Oliver noticed how tense she was now and seeing her like that made his temper short. He was beginning to wonder if it was time to call for a break, mostly to keep Felicity from snapping, when yet another problem was brought up.

"Lastly, there's one final issue that must be addressed. I'm sure you've seen the production numbers from the last quarter, Mr. Queen?" asked Richard Duncan, the head of the Production Department, an overweight middle aged caucasian man who merely tolerated him out of respect for his father.

He looked at Felicity; silently asking her what the man was referring to. She was ahead of him, though, and she glanced quickly at his tablet, indicating that he should check it. Taking the device in his hands, he saw that she had somehow hacked it using her own tablet and it now showed the information he needed. He fought the urge to smirk at her skillfulness and caught a glimpse of her smug little smile before answering the question.

"Yes, Mr. Duncan. The production numbers have dropped by 30% compared to the last quarter, if I'm not mistaken? It was expected, I take it, considering the fall of The Glades." he said.

"Between other reasons, yes." Isabel commented.

"What other reasons?" Oliver inquired, but his question seemed to make the entire room uncomfortable. He looked from one person to the other, waiting for someone to speak. "Please. Enlighten me."

Isabel looked like she was dying to answer him, but was enjoying his cluelessness a little too much to actually do it.

"Well, to be short and frank… Moira Queen's imprisonment and your recent five-month-long vacation combined with the conditions the factories have been in since the earthquake… the workers haven't been happy to work for us, to put it mildly." answered Nathaniel Garner, the head of the Human Resources department, making Oliver frown slightly.

"They don't want to be working for a company that ruined their lives. Repeatedly. I don't blame them, honestly. The only reason they don't leave is because they don't have any other choice." Isabel complemented derisively. Oliver clenched his jaw.

"Personal opinions aside," Mr. Garner went on with a glare in Isabel's direction; he didn't seem to approve of her. "it's an issue that has to be addressed quickly if we want to keep QC on its feet. What would you suggest we do, Mr. Queen?"

"I don't think it's fair to ask Mr. Queen to deal with all of this on top of the personal problems he's been going through." Isabel spoke with false sympathy. "His mother's… situation, his recent vacation and the changes in his… _staff_…" She looked at Felicity and smiled. "I'm sure Mr. Queen and his new Executive Assistant are still adapting, we shouldn't blame them for not having the time to go through all these problems beforehand. Running a company as big as QC is not easy, we all understand. Perhaps I should be the one to handle this."

Felicity was gripping her tablet so hard her knuckles were white. _How dare she? _Felicity thought. The sneaky woman thinks she can just waltz in and supposedly save the day, making Oliver look like a fool in front of the heads of department while _still_ managing to make her look incompetent, _oh_, she had another thought coming if Isabel thought it would be this easy.

"It is incredibly thoughtful of you to say that, Ms. Rochev, but I don't think it will be necessary." Felicity said as sweetly as she could manage, considering she wanted to drag the other woman out of the room by the hair. "Mr. Queen was already aware of the problem and has asked me to schedule a meeting with Mrs. Baxter, the head of the Workers' Council - I'm sure you know her - in order to find a solution that can benefit both parties. Isn't that right, Mr. Queen?"

Everyone turned to look at Oliver for confirmation and Felicity saw that he had his eyebrows slightly raised at her. She stared back at him with her best _yes-it's-bullshit-go-with-it_ look.

"That's correct, Ms. Smoak. The meeting is scheduled for Wednesday, I believe. Thank you for your concern, Ms. Rochev, but I have confidence that my _staff_ and I are fully prepared to handle whichever _issues_ we encounter."

Felicity smiled to herself and turned to see Isabel's reaction. _How's _that_ for shutting you up, huh?_

"We can go over the results of my meeting with Mrs. Baxter next week. If that was the last matter we had to discuss, I believe we are done for the day. Thank you, everyone" Oliver dismissed them with his brilliantly fake CEO smile. He motioned for Felicity to follow him and they headed back to his office. When they were out of earshot, Oliver spoke.

"Remind me, when did I ask you to schedule a meeting with Mrs. Baxter?" Oliver asked amusedly.

"Come on, Isabel Rochev was driving me _crazy_. It was either trying to one-up her or throwing my tablet in her face, so I went with the lie. And did you _see_ her face? She looked like she had been eating a whole bag of sour candy nonstop for hours." she smiled at herself, recalling the memory of Isabel's expression and missed the way Oliver was staring fondly at her. Felicity shook her head. "Anyway, not the point. The point is that the best solution _is_ to try and work something out with the Workers' Council before allowing those awful people to try and fire everyone."

They had arrived at Felicity's desk and Oliver stood in front of her, considering her words. Felicity went on before he could answer. "I know what you're thinking, because we all know that Mrs. Baxter doesn't like you, but she happens to think _I'm_ adorable and I think I can convince her to be reasonable with you, so it won't be a lie after all and-"

"Mrs. Baxter doesn't like me?" Oliver questioned with a frown.

"_That's_ what you got from all this?" Felicity said skeptically.

"No, but that's the only part that confuses me." he explained "Your solution is clearly the best one, Felicity. The Workers' Council doesn't like me, but keeping our workers employed is our main priority and we can't do that unless I can reach a compromise with them. You're better at this than I am, actually."

Felicity blushed at his words and was surprised by his matter-of-fact tone. She didn't believe it, though. She knew that he would be an even more amazing CEO if he was completely invested in it, but that wasn't possible to any of them, with their nightly activities and all.

Oliver touched her arm and squeezed it briefly before continuing. "Thank you for having my back, by the way. I know pulling you out of the IT Department and making you my EA wasn't fair to you, but I couldn't find anyone more capable even if I'd had an option."

"Your back is always my pleasure." Felicity said with a fond smile at his words and then widened her eyes, her smile dropping. "_Having_. Having your back is always me pleasure. I didn't mean it like… you know. _Not_ that I don't love your back, because you have a great back and-" _Crap._ She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, the warm weight of his hand on her arm not helping with her brain to mouth filter malfunction. She sighed. "It all sounded less sexual in my head."

Oliver let go of her arm; he couldn't afford to be touching her when she said these things. He smirked. "Don't worry. You can have more of my back tonight at the foundry." He turned around and entered his office before he could regret his words too much.

Taking a seat, he chanced a quick glance at Felicity to see the pretty blush that he knew would be coloring her cheeks. He wasn't disappointed, she was standing there staring vacantly at the place he had been standing and blushing deeply. Oliver couldn't help but smile slightly at the sight and forget for a moment why he shouldn't be saying things like that. _It was worth it._

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**A/N.: I love flirty Oliver and blushing Felicity! I just had to write Olicity being sneaky during a business meeting, it had to be done. Thoughts? Suggestions? Ideas? Feels? Come at me with them feels, bro. Reviews are like puppies to me. **

**P.S.: Can someone please tell me what kind of company QC is? It obviously has (or used to have) a foundry and it has an Applied Sciences Division, but other than that I have no idea? That's why the business part is so generic, so, help a girl out here? Thanks in advance!**


	4. Chapter 4: Trust

**A/N.: It's been so long and I've missed this! Sorry it's been so long. College is crazy and I'm preparing for a super important test that might land me a job, so I have to study and there's no time for anything else. It'll probably be a long while before I update this again. Sorry if there was anyone waiting for it, though I doubt it. This chapter was almost finished, though, so I thought "what the hell", right? **

**Anyway, this takes place right after the episode Barry leaves (not sure which one that is) and before the one in which Felicity is back. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow. I own two dogs now! **

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_Trust: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something._

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It was like a normal day at the office; except it wasn't. Oliver was sitting at his desk, reading some important contracts, but not really, and stealing glances at Felicity every now and again. He didn't know how to act around her after the last few weeks. She was at her own desk, typing furiously, as always, and it didn't seem like anything was amiss. Still, Oliver couldn't help but worry that her encounter with The Count a few weeks ago was affecting her more than she was letting on.

When he got the call that day, he didn't even think twice. It was the middle of his mother's trial and that was consuming his mind entirely, but when he got that call and it wasn't Felicity's ever cheerful voice on the other end, nothing else mattered; he had to get to her.

Seeing her at the hands of The Count had left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. He was supposed to protect her. She was a part of his team and keeping her out of harm's way was a condition he had established when she joined the mission. Failing to do that was not an option.

His blood had run cold like it hadn't in a long time when The Count used Felicity as a human shield. His head had twirled with the possibilities of what could go wrong; with the possibility of losing her. It hadn't been just the thought of having another innocent's blood in his hands. It was Felicity. There wasn't and there would never be a choice when it came to her safety.

And she had apologized to him. He should've been the one saying sorry for letting it happen in the first place and she had been the one to apologize. Oliver hadn't been sorry for killing The Count, and he would do it a hundred times over if it meant keeping her safe, but the fact that she cared enough to worry how he felt about it meant everything.

Looking back, he knew he'd keep coming back the moment he met her; that was the first time he had genuinely smiled in a while and that made him feel like he could trust her. If he hadn't trusted her then, he wouldn't have ended up bleeding in her car, revealing his true identity to her. He had trusted her with his life that day and had been doing it ever since. Felicity was the light on his path when he was out on the streets.

He knew she trusted him as well; maybe too much for her own good. Dig and he had made a promise to protect her when they brought Felicity into this, but, recent events included, it troubled Oliver how many close calls they'd had. The 'what ifs' haunted him. What if he didn't arrive in time on the next close call? What if he wasn't there to protect her?

Oliver tried to push those thoughts to the back of his mind, but he worried if there would ever be a day Felicity decided that enough was enough; hence why he had been staring at her all morning, trying to see if she was acting any different. So far, he had concluded that the only different thing in her behavior was due to Barry Allen's appearance.

Barry Allen. Oliver didn't trust him. He knew that the kid was hiding something from the start. He was surprised that Felicity couldn't tell; her instincts were usually sharper. The fact that she was smitten with the boy had clouded her judgment, he knew, and Oliver wasn't overjoyed about the fact that Allen had saved his life either.

He knew Felicity and Diggle had had justifiable reasons to resort to Allen for help and he knew that asking the kid for help had been the logical decision. Logic didn't matter, though; Oliver still felt a tinge of betrayal. They had revealed his secret without his permission and, yes, the decision had saved his life, but it wasn't their choice to make. Oliver didn't feel comfortable needing other people. Relying on others got you killed; that was another lesson the island had taught him.

Since the island, he had only trusted two people, and those were Diggle and Felicity. The idea that his life had been put in the hands of someone he didn't choose to trust went against every rule he had made for himself and that's why he had felt so betrayed. He didn't blame Diggle and Felicity, though; he could only imagine what he would do if the roles were reversed. If he had to choose between breaking their trust and letting them die, he would choose the first one every time.

In truth, it made him feel like an ungrateful little bastard just thinking all this, but he couldn't exactly help it, could he?

At that moment, Felicity rose from her chair and entered Oliver's office.

"You can call me Tony Stark from now on. Yep, that's gonna be my new codename now, because I am a genius." she said, a bright smile on her face. "Actually, if I had to choose, I'd probably be Natasha Romanov, because, let's face it, she's the one who always saves everyone and she's so much more badass than the oth-" she cut off at Oliver's raised eyebrows "And you have no idea what I'm talking about. Seriously, we've gotta get you caught up on those movies, Oliver, it's getting embarrassing."

"What do you have for me, Felicity?" he asked, his lips curving up at her ramble.

"A lead, which doesn't sound like much, but for the time it took me, you should be offering me a room at the Queen Mansion." she said smugly, then her eyes widened at her own words "Not that I want to move in with you, not at all. I mean, not that I find the idea completely repulsive either, it's just that-" she blushed "You know what? Why don't I just tell you what I found?" she approached his desk and handed him the tablet.

"What am I looking at here?" he frowned, thumbing through a series of files, which went from blueprints of buildings to financial records and electricity usage charts. She was about to answer him when Diggle walked through the door.

"Good, you're here. Now I only have to explain it once." she said, turning to the man.

"Felicity, what was so important that I had to come up here in the middle of my basketball game?" Diggle frowned.

"Basketball? Weren't you supposed to be making security rounds?" Oliver asked curiously.

"Weren't you supposed to be reading that pile of paperwork that has remained with the same size since we arrived this morning?" Diggle asked pointedly.

Felicity snorted and Oliver smiled slightly, nodding his head once as if saying touché.

"Sorry about your game, Dig, I wouldn't have called you if it wasn't important." Felicity said.

Diggle dismissed her apology with a wave of his hand as he looked at the tablet Oliver had handed him. "So, what is this all about?" he prompted.

"Barry and I were brainstorming and we came up with this theory that-"

"Allen? You've been discussing this with Barry Allen?" Oliver clenched his jaw. He wasn't sure if he was mad that she had been talking to Allen about this at all or if he was angry about the fact that she hadn't talked to him first about it.

"Yeah." she said and stared confusedly at Oliver's hard face until realization dawned on her, then she sighed "Don't worry, Oliver. He won't tell anyone, I didn't share the details anyway and… he saved your life, remember? Besides, he's really enthusiastic about the whole thing, he wouldn't want to lose all that by telling anyone." Felicity said dismissively.

"Maybe a little too enthusiastic, don't you think?" Diggle asked with concern.

"What do you mean?" Felicity questioned confusedly.

Oliver shared a look of understanding with Dig and answered her question. "What he means is: we don't trust him. And I don't feel comfortable with you sharing things about our investigations with him, Felicity. He did save my life, but that doesn't mean that he will keep my identity a secret; and if he does, that doesn't mean that he won't do it for ulterior motives."

"What? I don't know if you noticed, but he helped us, Oliver." she took a step closer to his desk, her eyes boring into his "When he first arrived, he didn't even have to share the information he had or his methods with us, but he did. He saved your life and that's enough reason for me to trust him. If you don't trust him, trust me instead. Trust my judgment".

Oliver wanted to respond to that with as much vehemence as she had, but one look from Dig that clearly said drop it was enough to shut him up, so he resigned himself to clench his fists and jaw in silence.

"What did you find, Felicity?" Diggle changed the subject before it all turned into a full blown argument.

"Locations." she turned to look at Diggle.

"We're all assuming that whoever is behind all this Mirakuru thing is not gonna stop; so they're going to have to move to another place, right? Barry and I figured that it has to be big to fit a lot of lab equipment and it also has to be secluded. I started searching for places that fit those requirements, but there were too many possibilities." she smiled lightly, obviously pleased with herself "Then, I decided to cross reference with the ones that had an increase of electricity usage since the day Oliver…" she didn't know how to sensibly describe the day "… rescued Roy… and came up with seven locations. I know it's not lot and it's a long shot, but it's something. What do you guys think?"

"Tonight? You take four and I take three?" Diggle asked Oliver, knowing that he wouldn't let him take four instead.

"Sounds like a plan." Oliver replied.

"Great. I'll clear your schedule." Felicity said as she took her tablet from Dig's hands and walked out of the room.

* * *

Felicity Smoak was right most of the time and, boy, did she love it. She had always been too smart for her age and it was one of the reasons why she'd never had many friends growing up. The other kids didn't like the fact that she was right most of the time as much as she did; Felicity was loathed as the know it all and that had pushed her further and further away from her peers.

Later in life, she would realize that others didn't ask your opinion to know what was right or to know the truth; they asked so you could tell them what they wanted to hear. Felicity was not one to tell you what she thought you wanted to hear, though, she told it like it was, plain and simple.

That's why she kept to herself; she had never quite figured out what was appropriate to say and what wasn't, hence why she rambled so much. It was like her brain went into overdrive while trying to socialize and she ended up spilling out everything that crossed her mind. Fitting in had always been a problem to her.

Younger Felicity thought that MIT would be the one place she would finally be able to fit in, both intellectually and socially. It did live up to her expectations. She had found people who could actually understand her and didn't think it was weird at all how passionate she was about computers; she had found challenges to her bright mind and socializing became a little less painful during those years.

But after she landed a dream job at QC and found herself being exactly where she hoped to be when she was younger, Felicity found herself craving more. She had no idea what it was, but she wanted it. Is this all there is to life? She used to think. Felicity had no idea what she was missing in life, but she wanted it. All of that troubled her thoughts from time to time.

That was until she found a green leather clad man bleeding on the backseat of her car and her world changed.

Now, she can't help but think that her life finally makes sense. Her work with Oliver and Dig just makes sense. She feels like she's doing something good, something right. If someone had told young Felicity Smoak that she would find herself fitting in while fighting crime beside a leather clad hero and an ex-military badass sidekick, she would've laughed in your face. Yet, there she was. She could now use her intelligence in a way she had never thought possible, with different challenges being brought to her every day. She is now appreciated for being herself.

Tonight was a bust, though. Felicity had been so excited about her findings that afternoon and it just turned out to be a huge waste of time. The high point of the night had been when Dig scared a few teenagers from vandalizing one of the abandoned buildings they had been searching. Other than that, it had all been a colossal failure.

She got up as she heard Oliver and Diggle coming down the stairs and immediately started letting her pent up frustration out. "I don't understand. It should've been one of those locations. It's only logical, I mean, they have to be keeping it local, right?" she got up and started pacing in front of her desk as the guys made their way to her "We've been monitoring the docks and there's nothing suspicious there, so it should be in the city and it should've been one of those places, I'm sorry, I don't-"

"Felicity, breathe." Oliver said, stopping in front of her and putting a hand on her shoulder. She would be lying if she said that his words were the reason she stopped talking; his hands on her were enough to distract her anytime. "There's nothing to be sorry about. We'll come up with something." He reassured her and stepped away to put his bow in its holder.

"Yeah, they'll slip up eventually and, when they do, we'll catch them" Diggle said.

"No, these people know what they're doing. I don't think they'll simply slip up. We're going to have to keep digging if we want to catch them." Oliver took off his gloves and threw them at a table. "There's something I'm missing here. What are the chances that the Mirakuru, a drug that spent years lost to the world in a submarine, would resurface here in Starling City, where one of the few people who know about its existence lives? There's some kind of connection that I'm missing".

Felicity was about to voice her thoughts when her phone rang. She walked to her desk and took the phone out of her purse. Not recognizing the number, but seeing that it had Central City's area code, she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello, am I speaking to Felicity Smoak?" a female voice asked.

"Yes, this is she. Who wants to know?" Felicity replied.

"Miss Smoak, this is Officer Diaz with the Central City Police Department. We're calling about Mr. Barry Allen. He's been injured in an accident and yours was the last number dialed on his phone, we wanted to let his closest friends know about his condition, since he doesn't have any family that we know of" the woman explained.

Felicity paled at the woman's words "A-Accident? What kind of accident? Is he okay? He's alive, right? You said injured, if he was… if he was d-dead you wouldn't have said injured, so he has to be alive." Felicity asked, her voice shaking.

"Yes, ma'am, he is alive, though he's in the hospital. He was injured by a shockwave caused by a particle accelerator. I'm afraid I can't give you many details over the phone, considering you're not a family member, but we wanted the people closest to him to be notified." Officer Diaz told her.

Felicity took a few deep breaths to get her head to stop spinning before she could answer, she was stunned "We're not really close friends, I mean, we've only just met and… anyway, yes, I understand that you can't tell me the details over the phone. I'll be in the next train to Central City and, hopefully you can tell me more about it then? Just text me in which hospital he's staying and maybe I can meet you, or anyone else you send, there?"

"Yes, that would be possible, ma'am. We're all very fond of Barry here at CCPD and we're all hoping for his recovery, that's why we've decided to reach out. I'll see you shortly, Miss Smoak." Officer Diaz said kindly.

"Thank you for calling me, Officer Diaz. I'll see you soon." Felicity replied distractedly and ended the call.

"Felicity? What is it?" Diggle asked worriedly after noticing how pale she looked.

"I… He… Barry is in the hospital, there was an accident." she explained, still staring at her phone. How could this have happened? They had spoken for a while when he arrived in Central City and he was fine. The worst thing was that there was no one else with him. That thought settled her resolve "I have to go there." She turned to look at Oliver and saw the surprise on his face "H-he doesn't have a family, there's no one to be there for him. I have to go. Oliver, is it okay if I miss a few days of work?"

Oliver didn't know how he felt about all this. He didn't like the idea of Felicity leaving to go after a guy she barely knew, but the sad look in her eyes made his response an easy one. "Of course. You can take all the time you need. Just make sure you come back soon" he let it slip what really worried him about this trip and immediately tried to fix it "There's an important meeting at QC next week and we have to be ready"

She sighed in relief. "Thank you." Felicity started gathering her things "And I'm not forgetting about that meeting. I should be back by then and, if I'm not, I'll make sure to send you everything you'll need."

"He'll be okay, Felicity." Dig reassured her "Keep us posted."

"Will do." She looked at Oliver. "Don't worry, I'll hurry back. I promise." Felicity knew he wasn't thrilled about all this and she felt the need to let him know she'd be back as soon as possible. This was the right place for her after all, beside her boys.

Oliver nodded and watched her go, knowing she'd keep her promise. He trusted her, after all.

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**A/N.: I know, I know, "Where's the damned plot of this thing?", right? I know, sorry. I just wanted to show how they're feeling at this point before the real fun starts. The way I'm planning this story, it's gonna become AU soon, so be warned. It's gonna be a couple of months before I update it again, but it might be a good thing! My plot bunnies will be well fed by then! I hope so. Actually, don't get your hopes up, I'm crap at this **sobs in a corner** Self-pity aside...**

**Review, please? Say nice things and make me happy? Help me improve my writing? I have no idea what I'm doing?**

**PS.: I fixed some cringy typos that I found on the last chapter, but didn't change anything else. I don't know if you get alerts for these things, but just thought I'd warn you. **


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